If you’ve been through bad relationships and your mind is set to conclude your life with the best relationship ever, then the differences you seek, the differences you demand and the differences you need all come with some hefty challenges. They are challenges that can be overcome, but challenges nonetheless. If what you want is not worth fighting for, it’s not worth having!
When you find someone you believe is a good candidate, you might be out to prove how different you are from the other’s ex with high hopes of being appreciated for how different you are. Meanwhile the person you’re trying to bond with is doing the same thing with you.
I personally believe there’s nothing wrong with working hard to prove how different we are to win someone else over if we see great value in that other person, and if we see great potential for a mutually compatible and beneficial relationship.
The Road Sign Reads: “Trouble Ahead!”
But what if the one you’re sweet on is attracted to your differences, and yet acts sometimes like you’re really no different than the previous ones they’ve been with, or acts like they really don’t know how to handle your differences while they seem to still want to embrace YOU as a person?
They might even seem double-minded at times because they say they trust you, but they make statements or act in ways that make you feel untrusted.
They might do things for you like no one else has ever done and make you feel better than anyone else has ever made you feel and yet, at other times, they might jump to inaccurate conclusions after you only get half of a sentence out, and respond to you sometimes like they really don’t understand you.
The root issue can be found by going a bit deeper, because SOMETHING is going on inside their head! Why are they acting like that?
“The Solid Rock”
The context of this message on agreeing to disagree is based on The Foundation Of Love, because when all is said and done at the end of the day, good love compels a loving response:
“We love him, because he first loved us.” 1 John 4:19
This scripture is specifically about God’s people responding positively and properly to His Unfailing Love. All of us need The Love of God because we’re created in His image and likeness, we malfunction without being connected to Our Source and, we all need to be master-receivers of God’s Love to properly relate to one another. Why?
Love GIVES, and we can’t give to others what we don’t have! One’s ability to recognize, believe and receive love is a vital issue for every love relationship whether they be family, friend or spouse. The ability to love and be loved, goes hand in hand with our need and ability to agree to disagree sometimes in relationships.
Another person’s perception (the way they see things based on their experiences) is that person’s reality. Therefore, two different people often can and will see things differently.
“Bring Me A Higher Love!”
If two people are single-minded in love, and being joined together for a common higher purpose, as long as their differences are not violating common core values that were previously agreed upon when the relationship was first established, agreeing to disagree means:
1. Both parties will express their differing viewpoints,
2. Both will seek to understand and respect the other’s viewpoint without necessarily agreeing,
3. Both parties won’t force the other to share their conviction, but…
4. Both parties will seek to meet the other somewhere in the middle by being open minded and respectful enough to consider the other’s view.
We must grasp the reality and understand the fact that our differing perspectives were formed by different life experiences, and the mutual goals of the relationship should include respecting and accepting the other person as a whole package (differences included) without making the other feel threatened or ashamed because of those differences, and, without feeling inferior or superior to the other person ourselves because of our own differences.
“Hey, We’re Working This Out!”
Our responsibilities in relationships are huge and may seem impossible to accomplish at times. But if God brings us to it, He’ll bring us through it! How do we know this? The Bible says He is the author and the finisher of our faith, and God, who operates outside of our human timeline, He always declares the end result of the things He starts from the beginning. What does that REALLY mean?
Whenever God starts something, what He started is the PROOF it’s already finished! Hallelujah! It’s our job to simply trust God’s blueprint that He showed us (our dream or vision) and to keep building on what He’s already done!
Conflict resolution is a fine spiritual art! If we truly know and understand this concept of walking out what we know to already being done by FAITH, then we’ll avoid minoring in majors, and majoring in minors. We won’t get bogged down in the mud pits of pettiness. We will avoid making mountains out of molehills.
We can agree to disagree and still refuse to grow apart for the sake of that higher purpose because, while we’re the same in many necessary ways, we’re also DIFFERENT in other necessary ways. It’s those differences in the other person we were seeking in the first place, RIGHT? And those differences aren’t necessarily obstacles!
“The Bottom Line”
Differences in others provide opportunities for us to step outside of ourselves by a meeting of the minds, and seeing what another sees with or without agreement, so that we can GROW individually and together!
The question is: “What is our higher purpose for being together?” The answer therein is where the solid rock of our storm-proof, fire-proof, earthquake-proof and flood-proof foundation is formed.
When it comes to our differing views, we can’t afford to sweat the small stuff because at the end of the day, we must remain focused on our higher purpose for being together, and always work on getting there TOGETHER.
The One who brought us together is our COMPASS! Our Heavenly Father and King can and will tell us when we’re off track, and how to get back on track…but only if and when we consult Him. We need prayer like we need air! To God Be The Glory, AMEN! —King David J ❤️